Who is mamiimoves?
Welcome to my rebrand. My rebrand to what or who, you may ask? No clue. Hi, I’m Lex. Recently, I’ve come to be really confused as to who I am. Before becoming a mother, I had such a clear point of view about who I was- both internally and from a business branding perspective. I was a hustler- a boss ass chingona running my own dance business, creating choreography for stages, modeling, acting, competing, fine dining, traveling. You get the idea.
And then there came a certain point where I was unhappy despite my very successful, very cool life. I remember hitting my biggest career milestone and feeling completely apathetic about it. I had choreographed a set for my best friend, a pop artist who was opening for big names, one of which was Charlie XCX. The performance was written about in our city’s newspaper as being the stand out set, specifically highlighting my choreography. And yet, when that night ended, I came home to an empty apartment feeling completely indifferent despite the roaring success I had just achieved. My boyfriend was out commercial fishing in Alaska and even though our open status allowed me to seek companionship elsewhere, this was the person I wanted to come home to. I couldn’t celebrate with my family either because they all live in another state. It was very clear in that moment that I didn’t care about validation or recognition from strangers. I didn’t care about fame or sustaining whatever cool girl persona I had created. What were my achievements worth if I couldn’t share and experience them with the people I loved most? That night, I knew my life path had changed. I didn’t want fame. I wanted a family.
Fast forward 3 years later and I now have a beautiful 1yr old daughter. Im 1000% sure I chose the right path. But no one can prepare you for what motherhood is like or how you become a completely new person, with new priorities overnight. How your body isn’t your body anymore, how nothing else matters to you besides your baby, how much your relationship is tested, how the amount of hair that falls out is enough to make a chewbaca stuffed animal.
I had no idea who I was besides a mom. No capacity for thinking about anything besides keeping this small human alive. And though this feeling isn’t as intense as it was when my daughter was a little potato, I’m still so confused about the direction my life is taking outside of being a mother. Is dance still my passion? What kind of art do I love? Do I have the energy to keep my business afloat while being a full time SAHM? Can I just be peacefully present with my daughter instead of being a burnt out hustler trying to survive the horrendous conditions of this facist administration? If I can’t make money or create opportunity, do I have value? Is my double chin here to stay? Will I ever let my partner touch my boobs during sex again?
Mamiimoves is about exploring the answers to these questions. Trying new things and accepting that I may have a new relationship to old things. You’ll see my creations of all kinds- cooking, choreography, jewelry, crocheting, visual arts . You’ll read about my struggles and triumphs navigating motherhood and running a business- some stories funny and some deeply vulnerable. You might relate to my memes about being a Latina, queer woman in a very white city. And it’s possible I’ll do short dance tutorials covering fundamentals and history of different styles. The beauty of this platform is that it’s deeper than just a curated snapshot of my life or 30 second video for content. And I’m excited to share with you! Let’s make some mami moves together.
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